Although it may have been scary at first, solo travel has completely changed my life. This post details everything I learned traveling alone.
I had just arrived in Tanzania, my first trip since Covid. Although my friend Ryan would arrive in a few days, I was alone for the first time in a foreign country with no idea what the next month would hold. That’s when it happened.
It came in like a storm with no warning and all at once. I felt my heart racing, my breath shortening and my body tensing. I was frozen. For the first time in my life, I had a panic attack. During that moment, all I wanted to do was give up. To turn around, admit defeat and go back to the safety of my home. But no, I would not let that happen. I had to find a way to move forward.
Under normal circumstances, I’d have taken out my phone and let the internet distract me. But, I hadn’t yet learned about e-sims or travel cards and my hotel didn’t have the best wifi. Instead, I tried reading, taking a shower, drinking some water, none of which eased the anxiety. I could not shake the feeling. When I thought all hope was lost, I managed to will my way to the hotel lobby for some fresh air.
Once I got there, a member of the hotel staff approached me and offered to give me a tour of the grounds. She showed me the gardens where they grew fresh vegetables and the charity school next door, which is sponsored by the profits of the hotel. After just a few minutes, her hospitality helped calm my anxiety and I knew everything would be ok.
I will forever remember the woman who shared that time with me. She gave me the comfort of a friend in a time when I needed it most. The following day, I had a similar, heartwarming experience.
At breakfast, I met these two travelers who noticed I was alone. They not only invited me to eat with them, but allowed me to join in on their tour for the day. As we explored the base of mount Kilimanjaro, my anxiety had completely gone away. From there on out, everything changed.
I began to trust in the kindness of others, to trust in myself and better yet trust in the world. Everywhere I went, I was talking to strangers, adventuring to the unknown, and learning more than I could have ever imagined. Not just about myself, but about the world.
Here are those lessons.
I became content with having fluid plans while solo traveling.
I became content with having fluid plans while solo traveling. I used to be a very type A person, planning my life down to the second, especially when I first started traveling. I quickly realized that this was a huge mistake. On the road, free time and flexibility make all the difference.
For one, no matter how skilled you are at googling, it is almost impossible to find all the hidden gems at a destination until you are there. It’s like dating. You can’t judge a person by looking at their Hinge profile. You have to meet in person to see what the vibe is and go from there. Here’s a good example of how that looks in travel.
In the Galapagos, my schedule was planned in advance from sunrise to sunset, with no time improvisation. While our trip was fantastic, everyone we met kept telling us about this incredible snorkel spot where you can see all types of sea critters. It sounded amazing. But with our schedule already set, we had no time to add it in. We missed what could have been a great time. Though I don’t regret it, I have since learned from that mistake.
When faced with a similar situation in Thailand, I used the flexibility I had to its fullest. I met a friend on one of my boat tours. He mentioned that was doing a hike the next day that I had never heard of. After looking it up, I knew I couldn’t miss it. Thankfully, I had some free time in my schedule and was able to take a fantastic hike with my new friend.
Unfortunately, things don’t always go that smoothly. That’s the other benefit of a flexible schedule, leaving room for things to go terribly wrong. Because trust me, they will. For instance, my flight from Buenos Aires to Patagonia got delayed for a full 7 hours. Having fluid plans saved a major headache that day, as I took it all in stride.
all it takes is a simple hello
During my first visit to Mt. Rainier National Park, I went on a long hike up to Muir camp, which, if you’re unfamiliar, is the base camp for summiting the mountain. On my way up, I ran into a man who had to be in his mid-thirties. He was married and had a kid, and I was 22 and had just graduated college. We couldn’t be more different. However, what had in common was the trail. And I was lost. Which, to be fair was mainly due to the 3 feet of snow that covered the trail markers.
Anyways, I asked this man if he was headed up that way and if he knew the route. Thankfully, he did and happened to be going that way anyways, so I asked if he wanted to hike the rest of the way with me. Happily, he agreed.
As we climbed, we chatted about our lives and our goals for the future and what it’s like to live in the Seattle area as opposed to New York. During what ended up being a 10 hour trek through ice and snow, it was his company that helped pass the time. Sadly, he never made it entirely up to camp. But to me, our time together made all the difference.
It was then that I started to re-define what a friend looks like. It was also then that I realized just a simple “hi” is enough, a lesson that would serve me well in my upcoming adventures.
I wish I could share more on how to get the courage to approach a stranger. It’s definitely not easy. I think the best way to describe it is to compare the fear of being completely alone to the fear of rejection. Rejection only lasts a few minutes, whereas the loneliness lasts a while. Once I was able to understand this, it became a lot easier for me to put myself out there.
For example, in Peru, when I visited a local ceviche restaurant for lunch, the waiter noticed I was alone and struck up a conversation. At first, our chat was standard. He would ask me where I was from and why I was traveling. However, as the meal went on, he took a particular interest in his service. During his time in between taking orders, he would come back to my table and continue a conversation with me. We talked about Peruvian cuisine, Lima’s culture and politics. And trust me, nothing is better than hearing that from a local. On top of that, he even gave me free drinks and appetizers. Point is, eating alone isn’t always that bad. Just be careful to avoid food poisoning.
As a solo traveler, selfishness can be a good thing
Traveling alone, you only have yourself to care for. That means spending your time how you please. In my experience, this led to self-discovery. I found out what I enjoy, what I hate, what gets me excited and what I value. I now know that I love hiking and nature, but don’t always love the beach. Similarly, I know that books help me relax and I am happiest when active. Of course, these are just a few examples, but knowing yourself lets you tailor your trip to your needs.
i really hate being alone
Yup, it’s that simple…I’m just a people person.
As a solo traveler, you will spend a lot of time alone. Those times, were honestly the most challenging for me, as I thrive on social interactions. However, I was forced to learn to make do on my own, even if it sucks.
I re-discovered reading and found new, creative ways to pass the time. Plus, I learned how to make new friends in any situation, even it was more of a self-defense mechanism to avoid loneliness.
I Realized Hostels Are Just College Dorms, But Better
I absolutely love hostels and will stay at them any chance I have. Is it the most luxurious place to stay? No. But is it the most fun? Absolutely.
Not only is one of the easiest places to meet like-minded people, but hostels host social events, sight-seeing tours and fun activities to help you explore and make friends. Most importantly, however, you will get insider tips on how to make the most of your destination.
I learned the best way to get cheap public transportation, where to exchange money to get more than the market rate, and even got free passes to public transportation. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Between the staff and visitors, you have a wealth of knowledge right at your fingertips.
Keep in mind, that you can definitely go wrong with your choice in hostels. They really are hit or miss. But with the right research on Hostelworld, you can easily avoid those pitfalls. I have a blog written on this topic if you want to learn more.
I Learned So Much About Our World
I always preach that the things you learn traveling are things you could not learn in any other way. For every person I meet and every place I go, I learn something new (usually way more than just one thing). Through my adventures, I have learned languages, cultures, traditions, science and so much more. And seeing it all first hand makes it hard to forget.
Last year, I had the privilege of attending the Songkran festival in Thailand. The holiday, which celebrates the Buddhist New Year, is a festive time of the year filled with celebrations and religious ceremonies. Most famously, observers would pour water of statues and elders to symbolically cleanse themselves of wrongdoings. Today, this tradition has evolved into a massive waterfight in the streets every year. And although you can read all about this holiday online, being there in person lets you learn about the traditions first hand.
It’s moments like these that make me realize how many different communities exist throughout the world. When you don’t leave your hometown, you get tunnel vision. It seems all that matters is your immediate bubble. But while abroad, I was exposed to countless lifestyles, hobbies, and communities. It not only opened my mind, but made me realize that there’s a place for everyone, no matter your interests.
Adventure is a mindset
At the end of the day, adventure is a mindset. It’s not about who you’re with, or where you are. If you have the right attitude, there is absolutely nothing stopping you from making memories that will last a lifetime.
To me, this means always staying present, and living in the moment. However, it is up to you to determine what makes you most happy.
2 Comments
Best view i have ever seen !
[…] It was one of those short interactions that make traveling so special. And although it may seem tough at first, trusting in strangers’ kindness is one of the most valuable things I’ve learned as a solo traveler. […]
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